Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
