i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
