I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
