So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
