you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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