She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
