So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
