Rock
Scissors
Fuck
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
you never un-have a 4some
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
