my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
