I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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