maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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