Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
