Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
