he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
