i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
