Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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