I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
