The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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