Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
