You can't special order awesome
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
