Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
