Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You know, be my cock's hype man.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
