the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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