Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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