I must be too annoying 4 u.
The best revenge is premature balding
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
