So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
