i just google imaged poop.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
