I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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