And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
