She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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