u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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