margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
