Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
