can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
