He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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