We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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