I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
