peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
