Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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