I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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