that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
