Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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