She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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