Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
