We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
