I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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