What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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