Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
