Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
