9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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